‘n Man uit Jordanië skryf:
Intimacy makes life meaningful. As a psychologist working with gay men and couples, I observe daily how love, intimacy and relationships are the most deeply felt and longed-for desire in gay men. We all want intimacy and fear its absence. Having close, loving connections with others not only keeps us happily healthy, it profoundly affects our physical health as well, staving off disease, giving us longer lives and boosting our immune systems. Relationships matter! They are life-giving and incredibly challenging at the same time. Being gay, being male and living in these amazing and confusing times creates unique challenges and opportunities around intimacy.
Intimacy requires courage. The word “courage” is derived from coeur, meaning heart. It takes a brave heart to embrace and express anger, fear, jealousy, sadness, gratitude and joy in a respectful and direct way. It takes a brave heart to apologize, to have difficult conversations about sex, erotic desires and monogamy. It takes a brave heart to stretch beyond your own needs and limitations and to love a partner the way he needs to be loved … not the way you think he needs to be loved.
One of the biggest steps in developing and deepening intimacy in your life is knowing what love is and is not. Learn to differentiate between romantic love, puppy love, deep intimacy and mature love. One of the reasons many couples struggle so much after the first year or two together is that they are not prepared for what happens after the intoxicating endorphins and hormones begin to wear off and the romantic phase changes into the reality phase. Many believe that love is diminishing when, for many, deeper, real love is just beginning.